There is an unspeakable heartbreak about losing a loved one, especially if the person meant the world to you and made your life extraordinary through wonderful memories and unforgettable lessons. What makes it even worse is how the grieving process never seems to end. You could be feeling stronger a couple of months after the loss but relapse into grief shortly after. That’s why most people reach out for support during these difficult times.
But what happens when someone who treated you poorly, someone you spent most of your years with, passed away?
Do you feel sadness, even if it’s just a twinge? Or do you stay silent, go through the formal rites, and carry on gracefully and with more peace in your heart?
Marsha Widener handled the death of her husband in the most unexpected way.
You should know first though, that her deceased husbad Don Widener was abusive. Described as a nuisance to everyone around him, Don Widener was a garbage man whose job included delivering trash to nearby landfill areas around the territory. At home, he was far from being an ideal husband and dad.
In fact, in a video shared by the widow, Marsha shares,
“I know you’re not going to understand why I’m doing this. His family don’t want him, his brother doesn’t want him around, his kids don’t want him, actually, they want him to go in the gutter or the toilet.”
Far from being cold and heartless, Marsha’s reaction to her husband’s death shows just how miserable she was when he was still alive. The struggles she endured, the pain she felt, all of it she could now toss away along with his ashes.
As Marsha shows the bag containing Don’s ashes, she begins to describe just how destructive a presence he was not just in her life but in their children’s, too. She dumped the ashes in the nearby trash bin while declaring,
“This is for all the pain and all the turmoil he has caused my children and myself and what he calls his parents. This is his goodbye. This is for all the times he kicked me in the head – yup, he put my head through a window.”
As she empties the bag of ashes into the bin, some of the dust gets in her face, causing her to comically quip, “Ooh, God, he’s getting in my face! Nasty bastard!”
Amusing as it is to see Marsha dump her husband’s ashes in a bin and describe how horrible he was, one cannot invalidate all that she endured when he was alive. Abuse is never a laughing matter and no matter how strong and brave victims are, no one should just stand by and let it happen.
We can imagine how liberating it is to finally be rid of someone as toxic and dangerous as Don, but we also wish for Marsha’s healing from the pain and trauma of it all.
She concluded her unconventional farewell rites by emptying the bag completely on the ground, stomping gleefully on the ash, and throwing her hands up in the air in triumphance.
We hope more people who suffer from abuse are given the support they need so they can live a safer, happier, healthier life – the one they really and truly deserve.
Watch the video and see how the brave widow finally says goodbye to her deceased husband.
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