Kids may struggle with mealtime, but their parents are the ones who are really suffering. Imagine trying to get a rabid dog to eat broccoli when he knows there are chicken nuggets in the freezer.
1) Well Done, Soldier
Sounds about right. Why kids try to threaten their parents we’ll never know. Perhaps there are some moms and dads who give in so easily, but not Tim here. Tim here is a champion.
2) Uber Touché
If you don’t want your kids to play with their food, then don’t get them food that looks like toys. There isn’t a kid out there who isn’t going to play with his shark gummies.
3) True Story
Unless the answer is pizza or chicken nuggets, whatever you are going to make is icky. But then again, don’t you actually feel the same way unless you are offered Taco Bell?
4) Spread the Germs
It’s not like anyone ever died from ingesting bird feces, right? Oops! Kids can spread germs faster than someone actually trying to spread germs. They are naturals.
5) See the World
Packing kids non kid-friendly food is a good way to have it return to you that afternoon. However, if you slice the apples and send caramel dip, then she’ll come back with sliced apples and no dip.
6) It’s All About Me
Kids are natural narcissists and that’s okay. It’s the ones who don’t grow out of it that we worry about. Kids asking for a snack while you’re having contractions or laying on the floor with a broken hip, that’s normal.
7) It is Possible
Whether it’s a single block of packing foam or a pack of goldfish snacks, your kid will find a way to make sure it touches every room in the entire house. So be on the lookout.
8) It Was Dark
So, this happens far too often after Halloween. Moms and dads get to craving something sweet after their tyrants have gone to bed. And what do you do if the only candy is in their room?
9) Had Me in the First Half
Poor kids try to express themselves in the strangest ways. This four-year-old wants to show his mom what he loves but also what he hates. So that’s what he’s going to do.
10) Don’t Do This
This is disgusting, it’s true. You probably haven’t done this, but you definitely have crossed the line as a parent. Things you promised you’d never do happen every single day.
11) It Won’t Work
Some kids really do try. Even if it is to hold the flatuence off until after dinner. But of course, it won’t work. Might as well smell your hand afterwards, you know he’s going to.
12) He Totally Did
Play along. George Washington died far younger than he should of just because he refused to eat his broccoli and only wanted chicken nuggets and ice cream. The poor president.
13) Brutally Honest
Around seven years of age, children develop a sarcastic sense of humor. At times, it can be annoying. But other times, it’s hilarious. Anyone fancy a bowl of Broccoli Punch soup?
14) She Has a Point
The only reason that moms even get Mother’s Day presents is because they are moms. So it is true that the kid deserves a little something to because it is they that make it all possible.
15) Fill ‘Er Up
Kids will put forks in the power sockets and crayons in the VCR. No cavity is safe as long as they are wandering the halls. But why waste good spaghetti?
16) It’s What’s Best
As much as most parents care about their kids’ health, they don’t care about their own. That’s why you hide and eat cheesecake but serve brussel sprouts for dinner.
17) Bon Appétit
If you want your kid to eat their food, let them make it any way they want. You can have rules they never know about, like removing everything unhealthy from the house. Or just let them eat candy corn pizza.
18) Quotes from a Legend
This is something we can all relate to. Eating broccoli? Your heart wants dessert. Eating dessert? Your heart will always want more. Do the little dance and enjoy.
19) Mom’s Food is the Best
The best way to get your kid to eat something is to pretend it is yours. It works every single time! Kids want to eat your food because they think you’ll give yourself something special.
20) Like the Olden Days
Kids lose things every single day. That’s why you don’t buy them expensive lunchboxes or other things for school. Why do you think so many kids go to school with paper bags?
21) She Didn’t Mean It
This isn’t a kid trying to make a dirty joke. This is a kid who either actually thought they made the meatballs out of bouncy balls or thought it would be funny if they did.
22) You Can’t Blame Her
This is common practice. Whether it’s a Snickers or McDonald’s chicken nuggets, there’s always going to be treats that you allow yourself to be yours and only yours.
23) Whatever Works
If it works then keep doing it. Cheese and ketchup makes everything taste good according to kids. It’s a great way to meet in the middle and give them a balanced meal.
24) Social Life
Life on social media is not like life in the real world. Most of the time, you look like the perfect little family. But in reality, there are mishaps, fights, and chaos.
25) Could Be Anything
Kids make messes. We don’t know how they do what they do but they are masters from birth. If adults could do this, then surely job oppurtunities would arise.
26) It Really Could
The truth is it could really have been anyone. Though the seven-year-old is suspicious, leave it to the four-year-old to clean up Mr. Anonymous’ messes with ease.
27) Triangles, I Say
Everyone knows that all kids want triangle sandwiches not squares. Squares are boring and not user-friendly like triangles are. Take this as a note and warning for next time.
28) It’s a Skill
How does one take one single graham cracker and spread it throughout the entire house? Kids could solve world hunger if only they used this power for good.
29) She Loves Peanuts
Kids are weird. Buy them a gazillion toys and they will still choose household objects or strange food to cuddle up with or play with. In this case, it’s cuddle nuts.
30) It’s Fun, Try It
Who hasn’t eaten Cheerios like they were little donuts as kids? That’s the whole reason they came out with that donut cereal that looks even more like mini-donuts.
31) Lots of Kids
Chances are, this food was from the dad rather than his two kids. But at least he has a nice excuse as to why he has hot sauce and beef juice all over his work clothes.
32) Get It Right
Why do kids change their favorite foods so often? Oh, they don’t, they would just rather you not make them that right now. Let’s stick with pop tarts this week.
33) Open a Store
This couldn’t be more true. Kids never keep both of their socks together and they never eat all of their food. So save time and trash the money instead. You’ll thank yourself later.
34) We Could Try It
At Thanksgiving, we eat sweet potatoes with marshmallows on them. So why not just put them on other foods too. Every vegetable, meat, and grain? Yeah, how about not.
35) Throw it in the Trash
Even when kids get older and start making their own food, there will be times when they make it, take a bite, and then throw it away. It’s a part of life so get used to it.
36) Let’s All Do This
If we could all just calm down and have a piece of cheese, it would fix almost all of our problems. Except of course those brought to light by the vegans. Better closet eat that cheese.
37) We Feel Ya
As a kid, if you finally get to order your own food then you bet you’re going to get it wrong. After all, it’s a big job and you don’t want to make anyone wait.
38) Maybe You’ll Like It
There’s nothing fun about being awaken by someone feeding you. Unless of course that food is cheesecake. But then again, those grimy hands better stay away from your cheesecake.
39) As Days Go By
If you are a morning person, then getting up with kids is no problem, they are so sweet, after all. But by the time supper rolls around, the rope is about to break.
40) They’d Like It
To be honest, though this is unsanitary, kids will actually love it. Pretending to be an animal is one of the best games, and one of the best ways to get your kid to do stuff.