A shocking 33% of packages delivered to people’s homes in the U.S. end up going missing. While people might expect large cities to have the highest rates of theft, so-called “porch pirates” are actually more likely to operate in rural and secluded areas, according to a report from digital security company Blink.
(For some reason, North Dakota is the state with the highest rate of package theft, where residents are 26 times more likely to be victims.)
The holidays are the worst time for package theft, as boxes tend to be full of nice gifts instead of the pack of lightbulbs you ordered online.
If you’ve ever been the victim of these porch pirates, chances are you’ve daydreamed about ways to get back at them. Now, you can live vicariously through some clever pranksters.
Alec Armbruster is one of those people. He was tired of getting his packages stolen and came up with a disgusting, but likely efficient, way to deter at least one criminal.
The elaborate scheme he uploaded to YouTube on December 14 and titled “I’m sick of my packages being stolen, so I got creative…” has now been viewed by over 1 million people.
In the video, which is edited and includes background music, he begins by cleaning out his cat’s litter box.
Then, he lines a box with a thick trash bag and empties what looks like a few days worth of kitty contents into it.
Most impressively, he makes the box look like a very official delivery, complete with neat taping…
…and even some official-looking accessories, such as a packing list taped to the top.
Armbruster then set the package on his front porch (you can see it on his second step) and waited for the inevitable.
And he didn’t need to wait long. After a few days of moving the package around, it finally drew the attention of a team of thieves. His security camera catches one man walking up to his porch.
The man rings the bell and waits a few minutes to make sure no one’s home before snatching the box of cat waste.
Like many package thieves, this team knew which homes were going to have packages. According to Armbruster: “They were tailing the UPS truck, which can be seen in security camera footage about 10 minutes prior.”
Once the thief grabs the package, he hightails it out to his getaway car, which pulls up seconds later.
And off they go, unknowingly carrying a box of cat poop which should provide quite a surprise later!
Unfortunately, as far as anyone can tell, the thieves are still at large. Armbruster lives in the Fresno area and asks viewers who recognize the man to call the police with any tips at (559) 621-7000 and reference case/event #18-83185.
But he’s not the only angry consumer to get back at package thieves this holiday season. Mark Rober’s “Package Thief vs. Glitter Bomb Trap” is the #3 trending video on YouTube right now, with over 28 million views over just 2 days!
Rober is a former NASA engineer who worked at the Jet Propulsion Laboratory. His prank is far more elaborate and took him 6 months to concoct, set up, and deploy. His 10-minute video starts with a lengthy introduction explaining how he built his booby trap, designed to douse thieves in glitter and fart spray.
His masterpiece unleashes both a tornado of superfine glitter and a foul-smelling stench every 30 seconds.
But unlike Armbruster, Rober refused to miss the key moment when thieves received their “reward.” He went so far as to build 4 smartphones and a GPS tracker into the box. That way, when the thieves were caught, he could not only cherish the video footage forever, but retrieve his package and do it all over again.
While Rober’s security cameras caught the thieves stealing the packages…
…viewers everywhere felt sweet justice as they saw the footage of the packages being opened.
We’re not sure where Rober lives, but it’s clearly a neighborhood where theft is common, since he’s already caught 5 porch pirates.
Officials say that the best thing you can do if you’re the victim of theft is to contact the post office or delivery company as well as the retailer (if your package contained an item you bought online), along with filing a police report. But many of us know the chances of justice are rare.
People can also protect their items by having them re-routed to the post office, UPS store, or Amazon Locker for pickup or ask drivers to leave your package in a place where it won’t be visible to passers-by or simply drop it off with a neighbor. Of course, that cuts down on the convenience of home delivery. It would be a lot nicer if people would just keep their hands to themselves.
It’s also important to know that it’s rarely a good idea to appoint yourself the karma police. Reactions such as confronting or pranking criminals have the potential to get you or your family seriously hurt either in the moment or in the event the criminals come looking for revenge.
And while many YouTube commenters lamented the lack of exploding glitter or cat poop, owning and planning to deploy an explosive device could land you in jail before well before your package thief!
For now, enjoy the videos below, but be cautious about trying this at home!
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