Everyone has their occasional dumb moments. Unfortunately, with the dawn of the age of the internet, it’s all too easy for those dumb moments to be immortalized. These days, if you post something stupid, someone somewhere will screenshot it, and we’ll all laugh at you for a long, long time.
On the other hand, when it’s not you doing the dumb posting, you get to enjoy the wealth of laughter that comes from people saying really, really stupid stuff. Some people might say it makes them lose their faith in humanity. But let’s be real: people have always said dumb things, it’s just easier to record now.
How do you keep yourself from being one of the people immortalized in a Dumb Comment Hall of Fame? Well, you should always double-check a fact before you post it. Don’t think out loud on social media unless you want someone to call you out. Always keep your spell check turned on, especially if spelling isn’t your strong suit. Oh, and if you can’t remember the difference between Leonardo DiCaprio and Leonardo Da Vinci … just do a quick Google search.
Here are some of the most fantastically dumb things people have ever said on the internet.
1. Maybe the chicken’s name was John.
Chicken parmesan is a delicious dish and it’s definitely worth a feast. But let’s be clear: parmesan is a type of cheese. It’s also a pretty common one. Unless you haven’t been to a grocery store or an Italian restaurant ever in your life, you should know how to spell it.
2. It’s ringing in your EARS. Your EARS.
Here’s one unfortunate misspelling that could definitely lead to some misunderstandings. Just to clear everything up, tinnitus is ringing in your ears. It has nothing to do with breasts, chests, or anything like that. We’re not sure how this misunderstanding took place, but really — you couldn’t have just Googled that?
Incense is a perfume that is released by burning, which many people find relaxing. Incest, on the other hand, is having sexual relations with someone to whom you’re related. Would most people find that an effective form of reducing stress? We’re not sure, but we really, really, REALLY hope not.
4. Geckos are known to induce insanity.
The person these people are talking about sadly fell prey to a classic case of gecko-induced lunacy. Okay, we’re pretty sure that they meant to say “get-go”, meaning she was crazy from the very start. Geckos have nothing to do with this phrase, and it doesn’t make any sense to include them.
5. That’s not even how they’re pronounced!
You can sit back and wrack your brains over this one, but there’s really no explanation. This person thought that “Caribbean” is spelled and pronounced as “carry bean”. What’s more, they’re doubling down and getting annoyed when the other person doesn’t know what they’re talking about. Get with the program, guy.
6. You’d think there was a clue on one of the ingredients.
Remember when you were in elementary school and you’d make fun of the one kid who couldn’t pronounce the word “cinnamon”? That kid grew up and got a Twitter account and one day tried to make cinnamon rolls. Unfortunately for them, they haven’t moved on since their elementary school days.
7. That thread title, though…
Apparently, this person got a little bit confused while they were thinking about this topic. Deaf people have their only language, but it might come as a surprise to learn that blindness and deafness are not the same. Turns out, you don’t actually need to click with your tongue to “speak braille.”
8. A for effort
This poster made an earnest effort to try to name a country that didn’t include the letter “A.” There are just a couple of issues: Kansas is a state, not a country, and it has not one, but two As. London is also not a country. They managed to get one in with Turkey, but couldn’t spell it correctly.
9. Everyone hates day jaw food.
If you can’t figure this one out, it’s not a condition where food gets caught in your teeth during lunch. This Twitter user is actually trying to say “Deja vu” which is French for “already seen.” It’s the phenomenon where you feel like you’re repeating an experience. And no, it has nothing to do with jaw food.
10. Stupid Ray and his stupid bees.
This person was trying to figure out how to write the word “rabies” which, to be fair, is a very serious disease. (Fun fact: rabies has a fatality rate of 100 percent without a rabies shot!) But it has nothing to do with someone named Ray or any kind of bee.
11. What language is this?
This is a pretty extreme way to misspell strawberries. We can only imagine how this person pronounces that word. Apparently, they’ve never just … looked at the carton to see what letters are in the name of this fruit. But hey, it looks like a delicious dessert, misspellings and all.
12. That is an unfortunate misspelling.
We don’t need to dive into this one. Let’s just say that that is a super horrible mistake to make and we really hope this person deleted their post. To be honest, we’re not even sure what they’re actually trying to say. But um … glad you enjoyed your toast?
13. At least they admit it.
Here’s yet another time someone took a foreign phrase and had no idea how to spell it. “Gesundheit” is an alternative to “Bless you” when someone sneezes, and it’s not English, it’s a German word meaning “health.” At least this person was upfront once they realized their mistake, and openly said they were an idiot.
14. You know, just like any other time you eat eggs.
This person had a difficult time eating hard-boiled eggs for the first time. For some reason, it wasn’t immediately self-explanatory that they needed to take the shell off before chowing down. We’re just going to assume they had never eaten any other kind of egg before and didn’t know what to do.
15. It’s only one of the most famous songs of all time.
‘We can agree on one thing: Bohemian Rhapsody is a pretty amazing song, and there’s a reason why it’s gone down in history. Unfortunately, that’s not how you spell “Rhapsody”. Spell check wouldn’t have caught that one. Double, unfortunately, there’s no “dumb check” when it comes to social media posts.
16. But did Da Vinci win an Oscar?
Leonardo is not a very common name these days, and there are only a couple of famous people associated with the name. Unfortunately, mixing the two of them up is a pretty big way to put your foot in your mouth. Not only are they known for completely different (and pretty important) things, they lived centuries apart.
17. Well, that’s a new one.
There have been a number of social \media posts over the years that seem to be confused as to why “salmonella” has the word “salmon” in it. Newsflash: salmonella is a food borne illness that you can get from almost anything, not just fish. In fact, you’ll usually contract it from eating under cooked eggs or meat, you know, like in cookie dough. Which does not contain salmon.
18. Watch out for those psychopaths on bikes.
A psychopath is a person who is clinically insane or, in slang terms, who acts in a crazy or erratic way. A “cycle path,” meanwhile, is a trail for people riding bikes. Apparently, it’s also the secret side to this Twitter user. We’re still trying to figure out what she has against biking.
19. Side effects may include sugar highs and fond childhood memories.
It’s always a horrifying experience for parents when they discover drugs in their teenage child’s bedroom. Immediately, they’ll have questions, doubts, fears, and worries about their child’s wellbeing. Fortunately for this frantic parent, there’s a quick way to put their mind at ease: just turn that pill upside down.
20. I hear the spiders in the Middle East are big, too.
If we’re going to get technical, the Middle Eastern country is pronounced “ee-ROCK”, not “eye-RACK”. Maybe that could have solved the mix-up in this situation. This person is trying to express they have arachnophobia, meaning they have a fear of spiders. They are not, we assume, afraid of Iraqis.
21. That’s a quick way to a house fire.
Let’s be fair: baking doesn’t come naturally to everybody. Apparently, neither does common sense. This poster actually thought that she could make more cookies by doubling EVERYTHING, even the temperature of the oven. Hopefully, she found out that doing so wouldn’t get her more cookies, it would just get her a visit from the fire department.
22. Well, I GUESS if you put it like THAT.
This poster hasn’t quite connected the dots that the name “9/11” refers to Sept. 11, 2001, the date of the largest terror attack in United States history. He refers to it as “nining leven”, and sure, he’s technically right about it being worse than heartbreak. But he is very, very wrong about how to spell the words.
23. The answer is zero miles per hour.
The person who asked this question clearly missed an important word in the original post: “parking.” But doing so ended up making him look pretty dumb, and the original poster wasn’t about to let it. Take two things from this one: always read posts carefully being commenting on them, and be careful where you park when you’re in Virginia Beach.
24. When fruit talks about you behind your back
This person really, really hates grapes … but their hilarious misuse of the word “disgust” makes it sound like maybe grapes hate them, instead. Hey buddy, maybe grapes don’t like you because you keep trash talking them on social media. Did you ever once think about that? Well, DID YOU?
25. Aaron also has opinions on this topic.
Maybe if you live in a place where people don’t routinely pronounce the “d” at the end of the word “errands,” you might make this mistake. But did you never wonder where the phrase came from, and why you’re running multiple men named Aaron? And have you never seen the word written down? There are so many questions here.
26. “What” is definitely the right response.
Okay, we’re going to call this person’s bluff here. “This evening” and “deceiving” do not sound alike. Well, maybe they do a little, but not nearly enough that it makes sense to mix them up. Also, that’s a sentence that doesn’t make any sense, so maybe check yourself before you post.
27. I can’t believe I have to say this, but there’s no “L” in “outfit.”
Again, where does this person live that people are this inarticulate? You really can’t hear that first “T” in that word? This one makes so little sense that other Twitter users started to tear the original poster apart in short order. To her credit, those are some pretty cute shoes.
28. It’s the most common injury of the Caucasus Mountains.
“Caucasian” and “concussion” do sound vaguely similar, but they are not the same thing even a little bit. But look on the bright side: this poster can totally blame his dumb post on his head injury. At least he has an excuse when people on the internet start to laugh at him!
29. Well, that’ll make the whole room go quiet.
4D ultrasounds are an amazing invention of modern science. Expectant parents can now see their unborn children in unbelievable detail, from the features on their face to their tiny hands and feet. Of course, even that amazing technology doesn’t help some people see. Apparently, this lady has lunch on the brain.
30. Yeah, I guess I would hate that too.
Every high schooler these days dreads having a teacher confiscate their cell phone. This Twitter user qualified for an account called “Idiot Olympics” after using the phrase “coffin skate” instead. I don’t know what that is, but to be fair, I’m sure I’d be annoyed if someone did that to my phone, too.
31. Who is still using Word to store files??
This girl is pretty excited about her newly-ordered prom dress and is looking forward to dancing the night away. She might be almost done with high school, but unfortunately, she still hasn’t grasped the concept of file sharing. In case you didn’t know, no one can see that.
32. There are so many unfortunate consequences to this dumb decision.
We don’t even know where to begin with this one. There are too many sad parts. The oven is ruined, the cutting board is ruined, and worse of all, the pizza is ruined. Take this as a warning: in case you didn’t already know, plastic doesn’t go in a 400-degree oven.
33. Ohhh, I get it now.
This person has a very simple reason for choosing to vote the way they do: it’s in the Pledge of Allegiance. Anybody who disagrees with them probably just doesn’t understand what the Founding Fathers wanted. Too bad more people don’t understand just how simple politics are in the United States.
34. Calm down, guys, there’s enough for everyone.
Let’s just say that this poster doesn’t exactly grasp the concept of simple division. Sorry to disappoint everyone, but that’s not how the lottery (or math) works. Unfortunately for the poster, all of their friends were quick to jump on their mistake and let them know what a dumb one it really was.
35. Well, they’re right about the chocolate.
Some people don’t exactly grasp the idea of the Gregorian calendar, which is what most of the Western world uses. It counts the years since the birth of Christ, which, if you didn’t know, is currently 2,019. The Earth, on the other hand, is estimated to be about 4.5 billion years old.
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