If ever you get a message or memo that reads something like this, it’s time to get the job done and stop bothering whoever contacted you.

There’s nothing more damaging for your workplace self-esteem than thinking you had a good idea, only for the boss to ‘sidebar’ it.

It’s funny how so many of these phrases are basically just vaguely polite ways of saying some pretty mean things.

‘I hope this helps, now please just leave me alone!’

When your boss starts any discussion with “A few things…” you know you must have messed something up.

This is the classic ‘polite rejection’ that so many of us have received when applying for jobs in the past. It’s the working equivalent of saying ‘It’s not you, it’s me’ when breaking up with someone.

Poor Samantha here is one of millions of people around the world who are sick and tired of hearing these silly corporate phrases.

This one is so useful for bosses and managers trying to handle workers that just don’t seem to work too well together.

We’ve all been guilty of having a little snack during a conference call or while speaking to a customer or client over the phone, so why not just be honest about it?

‘Moving forward’ is one of the most popular ways for managers to politely tell their workers to never, ever do something again.

Most working expressions or phrases tend to try and downplay the seriousness of something by using light and simple terms. So, when you’re totally enraged, bamboozled, and blown away by a colleague’s incompetence, you simply tell them you’re ‘a little confused’.

Companies seem to always be keeping applicants’ resumes on file. There must be a whole library full of them somewhere! Either that or they all end up in the trash.

This is such a robotic way of saying ‘I’m not doing that and you can’t make me.’

Here’s another classic workplace expression and a great way of saying ‘I’m too busy to deal with you, but I don’t really mind if you waste someone else’s time.’

‘You emailed us 56 times, called us 17 times, and wouldn’t leave us alone until we got this done, but thanks for your patience!’

‘As discussed’ is one that many workers will be familiar with. It’s the polite and mature way of saying ‘I don’t think you’re very attentive so now I’m going to repeat everything all over again just for you.’

Workers always seem to be talking about putting pins in things, penciling in dates, and tabling suggestions. It’s like they’re all stuck in a world of stationery.

‘Let me break this down in simple terms you can understand. Do you need pictures too?’

If a manager starts addressing the whole ‘team’, they’re probably about to say something you don’t really want to hear.

It’s even better when you get a message saying ‘Have a great week!’ on Monday morning, which is basically the sender’s way of saying ‘Please don’t bother me again this week.’

A lot of the time, people at work actually mean the opposite of what they say. So if they say ‘Please let me know if I can help’, they really mean ‘Figure it out on your own and don’t contact me again’.

It’s not uncommon for the pressures and tensions of the workplace to build up and for people to start getting impatient, but instead of just sending emails saying “Give me an answer now!” they have to find ways to be more subtle and polite.

New people entering the workplace have to adapt quickly and understand what people really mean when they say certain phrases. If someone tells you that you made a ‘good start’, they probably mean that what you did is pretty bad and it’s time to go in a totally different direction.

Nobody wants to get tabled. But you will probably get tabled by someone higher-up the workplace chain than you at least once in your life. And it never feels nice.

A lot of the terms and expressions on this list can be considered passive aggressive, but they’re also often just used because people want to be polite when they need to dish out some serious criticism or deal with workers who don’t seem to understand simple instructions. We’re talking about you, Mark.

‘I’m balancing a lot this week’ is a perfect workplace way to say ‘I really do not want any more work from you’.

Context is very important with many of these workplace expressions, and it can be hard to tell how people really feel, especially when reading emails or messages. Someone might sarcastically write ‘thanks for flagging’ when they’re already aware of the situation, or they might write it honestly when they genuinely feel grateful to know what’s going on.

Even AT&T’s official account joined in on the fun of this hilarious Twitter thread.

If you hear someone say they’re ‘concerned’ in the office, you can be sure that they’re not just ‘concerned’ at all. They’re actually very worried, angry, and ready to take drastic action!

Melanie here has delivered the perfect embodiment of what workplace phrases are really all about. You want to be frank with someone, calling them out on their mistakes, lies, or bad behavior, but because you’re trying to be a mature grown-up, you have to use words that sound way more neutral.

‘Flexibility’ is another popular workplace term, most often used when you just want someone to do something differently because you know your way is better.

‘If I make you repeat your dumb idea, maybe you’ll see just how dumb it is too!’

Basically, if you want to succeed in the workplace, the first rule to learn is that most people don’t actually mean what they say. It’s up to you to read between the lines.

So many people in the Twitter thread gave awesome examples of ‘polite’ ways to say ‘I’m right, you’re wrong’. Just like this one.

‘The thing you just said is so confusing that we now need to spend time figuring out what you actually mean before either of us can move on.’

This is one of the best ways to basically say ‘Leave me out of it!’

The pins and tables are back again! Will they ever go away?

Here’s a top tip from a Twitter user named Briana, perfect for those moments when you just don’t trust a colleague to keep their word or remember what they said.

‘Please confirm’ is the perfect passive aggressive way to tell someone ‘I want a reply!’

Other options include: ‘Can you just shed a little more light on this?’ and ‘Would you mind bringing me up to speed on this?’

When dealing with forgetful or unreliable workers, always make sure to get things down in writing. It always helps in the long run.

If someone has a ‘quick question’, they want an equally quick answer.

‘Action Items’ really is such a pointless phrase. It’s just a way to make the phrase ‘Things To Do’ seem more exciting and engaging.

Even managers and supervisors make mistakes now and then.

‘Thanks for the input’ doesn’t always need to have such a harsh translation, but there are moments when people use it to say ‘Please stop talking now’.

If you’re applying for a job or position that calls itself ‘a development opportunity’, you can be sure you’re not going to get much or any money out of it.

Basically, if you want to get by in the world of work, just act like every day is opposite day. No usually means yes. Yes usually means no. And ‘That’s a good idea’ usually means ‘No it isn’t’.

This is another popular workplace phrase that can have a variety of meanings but is mainly used by people who really want to say ‘I’ve helped you as much as I’m prepared to. Now go and do your job and let me do mine!’

‘I was on mute’ is something you hear a lot in conference calls and similar situations when people are actually not interested at all in whatever is being discussed.

‘Thanks in advance’ might look like a polite and friendly end to an email, but it can often be used as a sneaky way for people to say ‘I expect this work done and I’m not taking no for an answer.’

We’re cringing so bad just reading this awful mish-mash of corporate language.

This one is just perfect! They should make posters of this tweet and put them up in offices around the world.

There are many different ways you can end a letter or email. You can try to be as polite and formal as possible, or you can keep it casual and wish someone a good day. Or you can just be passive aggressive and write ‘Regards’.

‘I wanted to follow up’ is the official go-to phrase when you know someone forgot something but don’t want to directly call them out on it.

In other words, ‘I have no clue what you’re trying to do here. Can you explain it?’

This is the perfect way for passive aggressive people to get back at workers who they feel are lazy or unreliable. Just repeat everything super slowly to waste their time.

Folks, team, ‘guys and gals’, they’re all just as bad as each other!

If you’re starting a phrase with ‘all due respect’, it’s highly likely you really aren’t about to show much respect at all.

Can a ping ever really be friendly? People love to try and dress up their memos and emails with the word ‘Friendly’, but it really doesn’t make anything easier.

Can you imagine a world where people didn’t use all these polite phrases and passive aggressive terms and literally just said what they meant?

‘Bandwidth’ is a great excuse to use when you just don’t want to do something.

AKA ‘I thought you were mature enough to remember the conversation we had on this topic, but I guess I have to spell everything out for you, huh?’

There’s no easy way to say ‘I really don’t want to do this, so I’m trying to make you do it instead’ but workers still manage to find some inventive ways to try and get the message across.

This is what brutal honesty really looks like.

Mark is sounding maybe a little harsh here with his pushup punishment, but it sure would be an effective way to cut out some of these dumb corporate terms.

‘Per my last email’ is a perfect phrase to use when you’re frustrated with someone who never seems to actually read your messages and do what you tell them.

We really feel for Philip here. That guy must have been unbearable to work with!

This is such an accurate translation! So many modern jobs call themselves ‘fast paced and rapidly changing’ when they really mean ‘It’s total chaos in here!’

Every day, it seems like you get a billion emails with notes and memos designed ‘for future reference’.

Sometimes, when dealing with stubborn colleagues, you just have to grit your teeth, hold your tongue, and try to politely help them see the error of their ways.

Nobody wants to hear these words! It’s even worse when you hear them right before you’re about to finish work for the day and already have one foot out of the door.

Wow. There’s just way too much corporate speak in this message for us to even cope with.

Circle the wagons? Really? What is this, the Oregon Trail?!

Jessica wrote out a whole list of awful corporate phrases she and so many other people hear on a daily basis. ‘Let’s take this offline’ is one of the best.

We really don’t want to be ‘touching base’ with anybody in the office.