Ever since humans started forming relationships, dating has been an awkward, awkward, awkward experience. But since the rise of online dating, things have really gone crazy.
Now, thanks to the fact that your first encounter with a potential match is through the barrier of technology, people are saying more embarrassing things, more creepy things and more downright bizarre things than ever before.
Anyone who has tried online dating has recieved weird messages from complete strangers. This slideshow contains 50 of the cringiest, strangest and desperatest opening attempts at courtship ever seen via the medium of online dating messages.
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Needpix
Is it David Brent?
That’s an introduction worthy of Ricky Gervais’s incredibly awkward character from the British version of The Office. Brent sure is lucky to share a name with the character!
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Special Worst Date
Just remember, this is an opening message
This was sent at 4:47pm on a Friday, because this is what all women want to hear at the start of their weekend.
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Jenerik/Reddit
The creepiest bit is in the brackets
Why would the guy need to specify that it was to drive the girl wild?
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Corpuscle634/Reddit
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Go grammar!
He also forgot an apostrophe, but apart from that, what could be weird about opening with this message?
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PsychicKaraoke/Reddit
The last five letters in this message make all the difference
They should change the wedding vow to “until death do our relations end only” instead of “until death do us part.”
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MerleChi/Reddit
When your profile picture is you making a funny face
It’s good to know that he has a funny and a serious side though.
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Iwtbwbnhwtfm/Reddit
Natural OR fertilization, you say?!
Surely, with the umbilical cord, it’s impossible to produce a child with literally no strings attached?
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Theblackshuck/Reddit
Talk about judgy
The real question is how many proves did you solve while remaining illogical?
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ConsiderateTaenia/Reddit
Clearly, they appreciate animals for different reasons
A title like that could have been really creepy, but this one is just plain funny.
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This_is_me_on_reddit/Reddit
This is what people thought 2019 would be like in the 1980s
In the 21st century, a man’s attractiveness will be judged by how many robots he can build, they said.
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Chrysanthemata/Reddit
If only they had better omlette skills
Ok, they were making a joke about relationships, but it’s still so cringy.
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Krstnzz/Reddit
There’s presumptuous and then there’s this
Anyone who refers to a stranger as “pancake” is not going to be a good partner.
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Reddit
How is this guy single?
There’s TMI and there’s asking for TMI.
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Kalikoshka/Reddit
And they say that romance is dead…
Then why mention that part of the anatomy?
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Telepenisis/Reddit
Did the universe just skip forward in time like a year while he was writing?
At least he got a response to that message!
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AngryJigglypuff/Reddit
The lol doesn’t make this any less creepy
Some people are so desperate.
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AngryJigglypuff/Reddit
At least he isn’t 50
And he thought that this would be good to send to someone who was a 23% match?
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AngryJigglypuff/Reddit
Wills will have to keep on searching for evidence of the divine, it looks like
That yoga pants theory of God is very unique.
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AngryJigglypuff/Reddit
Something tells me he was right to doubt it
The thing is, he said he had to ask, but something tells me that the world wouldn’t have ended if he hadn’t asked.
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AngryJigglypuff/Reddit
Lots of bad things can happen
He also thinks that she would have spoken to a normal guy “for once” if she messaged him? For once?
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Okchick/Reddit
If only the weirdest thing about this was that his profile says he’s 34, and yet he claims to be 35
At least you wouldn’t need to do anything with their kids.
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Tony_spumoni/Reddit
If you have to specify that you’re not a creeper, then you’re a creeper
He didn’t specify what was 8.5 inches.
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Welpwelpwelpwelp/Reddit
To build a shower outside or not build a shower outside
Who says that Shakepeare was the greatest writer of all time? This guy’s just outshone all of his plays.
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Meayow/Reddit
What woman wouldn’t find it an honor to be compared to an ex girlfriend?!
He also says that he doesn’t know exactly what it is that reminds him of her. Surely when it’s on a dating app, it could only be her looks?!
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Krstnzz/Reddit
As far as pickup lines go, that’s crap
Why would anyone even use a pickup line in the first place?
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Misselletee/Reddit
I know what will work, an insult against their dog!
Someone thought that that would really work.
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What-girls-send-me/Reddit
He’s lucky that she dignified him with a reply
Please note that he didn’t consider what she wanted. Just him, him, him.
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Rmutt/Reddit
“Better you know now then find out later”
By sending messages like this, he’ll still be one for a long while.
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Jetsfan731/Reddit
Ho me ho my
Always blame it on the autocorrect.
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Special Worst Date
Really not appearing “chill” in just three messages
Also, one hour and 15 minutes precisely? That Travis loves to keep a tight schedule.
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Special Worst Date
Nothing makes a girl feel special like a guy opening with “Hmmm..I don’t know”
Also, it’s three periods, not two, you idiot.
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Mashable
If your message is creepy enough to warrant the words “don’t worry,” then don’t send it!
All our time?
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Mashable
Prince charming
Apparently, women are now whores for not sending nude photos. The definition just gets broader and broader.
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SerenaLila/Reddit
So good it needed a reply, two years later
The human body is truly capable of many extraordinary things.
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Fuckitspicy/Reddit
Sometimes it only gets creepy at the second message
Who doesn’t love dogs?
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Pomplamousse200/Reddit
He wanted a picture of two birds, plural!
Does he think he’s playing Jeopardy with his second message?
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Morchel03/Reddit
You lost her at “Heywoo!”
Whatever happened to a traditional greeting like ‘Ahoyhoy’?
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Morchel03/Reddit
Three days is a long term relationship nowadays
It was just ATTEMPTED murder.
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Reddit
The response says it all
This would be an appropriate message to send to the attempted murderer from the last post.
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NightTimeNovember/Reddit
To answer the first question, because she’s too busy to always be on dating apps 24/7?
To answer the second question, no.
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Lonelysingledad69/Reddit
Who has time to reply to this!?
The answer to the five year plan question could just be “filling out these answers!”
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Throwymcthrowface69/Reddit
You’ve heard of icebreakers. Well how about cliffbreakers?
Something tells me she has emotional baggage.
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Atownsfinest610/Reddit
You could at least have let her pick from her top 10
What’s the thing you like discussing the least? Tell me, because I’m a stranger that wants to date you.
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JellOphie1/Reddit
There’s out of the blue, and then there’s this
So she’s looking for the most evil person in history to be her boyfriend?
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Handleytwynham/Reddit
When you turn natural disasters into an attempt at a hook up
Who wouldn’t want to spend an emergency trapped with a creepy stranger?
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PippyLONGsocking/Reddit
Just because he says it to everyone should not make it ok
Of all the compliments out there, being called a prostitute is not one of them.
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Howivewaited/Reddit
What made her think that?
Just at the age of five?
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Wardragon117/Reddit
Is that what she wants?
Insult or compliment, this is worrying.
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Mister_AA/Reddit
Women love men who just whine about how crappy their lives are
At least he clarified that it was a mistake.
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Kevl9987/Reddit
He seems like someone who likes to take things slow
He’s already told his parents.
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Celentz22/Reddit
Isn’t it crazy how there are just so many ways to make a terrible first impression? How can people be so, so, so inept at sending one message and not completely ruining it?
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