There is a reason why math is included in the three most basic subjects of education. Because together with languages and science, math will actually help you survive life. And we’re not talking about being kidnapped by some kind of math mafia who’ll hold your family hostage if you don’t get the value of “x”. We’re talking about measuring cups in baking, counting money, calculating distance, geometry in carpentry, knowing how old you are, and knowing how much water you need to drink every day.
But what about those people who can’t even put one and one together? Doing the math, it’s pretty surprising how these people survived this long. Good thing calculators are invented because they shouldn’t leave home without one.
Here are 45 people who can’t do the math to save their lives.
1) This math will not save your life
There’s a lot of wrong going on in here but it’s pretty dangerous to assume death rates when you’re not even using the right elements to get there. Run the math again with total deaths divided by total infections.
2) New Cuyama
Looking at the math, it seems that they’re lacking “population” or they’re having too much of “ft. above sea level”. Okay, we don’t know for sure what’s going on here but at least they got the addition right.
3) At least give a tip
She claimed she got ripped off when actually, she got a bit more. If only she didn’t pull out the credit card, she might have been 80 cents richer. It’s the principle, you guys.
4) Though 48 hours
We can’t say, but maybe living in that small house for two days made his brain fuzz out. Or maybe the challenge was making 3 days out of 48 hours?
5) We call that “overpopulation”
For scale, the current population of the United States is somewhere over 300 million. So it’s either the entire population of the country is in North Carolina or they’re calling out the wrong numbers. We’ll bet on the latter.
6) We all win!
This is a rare moment where we just wish that the wrong math is actually the correct one. But doing the math, free $3 is still free $3.
7) The secret to immortality
I’m not sure whatever water the girlfriend is drinking, but if it’s gonna slow down retirement, then I’ll take a swig if you don’t mind. The only way she’s 40 and he’s 80 is if they’re not aging at the same time.
8) Pie charts should be their thing!
I don’t know about you guys, but if you’re hanging out on a business website that doesn’t even know how to make a proper pie chart, then you’re better of someplace else for financial advice.
9) Flight not for the faint of legs
I hope you scored that free business class bump because your legs are about to be killed in one of the longest flights in the world. Who would’ve thought that Seattle is 888 miles away from Denver?
10) We all know what “pie” is!
Come on, “pi” has always been a baked dish made of pastry dough with a variety of fillings like apple or peaches. That, or has always been 3.14, unless someone successfully made a mess out of maths.
11) Best deal ever
See, buying 3 to get 4 free is good. But buying two sets of 3 to get 8 free is even better than getting 6 for 7 free. Math, kids, it’s gonna save you a lot of money.
12) Wholesale calories?
You know when you go to the store then you buy something so much in bulk that you get to have the prices slashed off a bit? Like if you buy 25 boxes of mac and cheese that goes $2.75 so it’s just $2.50 now? Let me tell you, that doesn’t work on calories.
13) Tax cut!
Imagine doing your math so bad while also having the blue verified icon beside your name. Last time we checked, the account is suspended.
14) So many wrongs, so little time
We don’t know where to start, that diamond is the hardest “metal”? That it’s easy to get it in bulk? Or that 1 gram is equal to 15 grams?
15) At least you tried?
The moment when you don’t know what to do but the test says to show your solutions. Let’s just put up some random numbers and equations, top it with slashes to cancel them out, then call it a day.
16) I mean, it’s not wrong
A lot of things can make you feel like 60 minutes is an hour. Waiting for an hour, counting 3,600 seconds, the time it takes between 3 PM and 4 PM. And none of those can make someone say “Aww, I love you!”.
17) The deal to end all deals
It’s originally $299.99 , but now it’s $324.99 in this limited time sale! It even says you can save $65.00, but we don’t know how or from where.
18) Law in all things
In math, you just don’t put numbers and symbols together and solve them as you see fit. Anything in a pair of parenthesis comes first, then anything involving multiplication, then division, then addition, then subtraction. If you’re talking about two sets of ten apples, you could’ve ended up with just ten. That’s a big difference in terms of apples.
19) Apes. Together. Strong.
It sucks when a math problem catches you in a trap. Good thing the mathematically skewed community is ready to lend a hand!
20) Price is firm, buddy
Okay, I can get both for $90 or get both for $40 dollars a piece. This is a really tough decision.
21) We’re the same, you and I
People should be really careful throwing out the “I’m x times better than you.” Because the golden rule in multiplication is that whatever you multiply by zero will and always will be… well, zero.
22) That’s a big leap
The stranger thing is, we think, is that someone can live for over 900 years. That’s like watching Henry I get crowned and still be alive to panic on the eve of the Y2K computer scare.
23) It’s not the ads you should be worried about
Yup, looks like they need that extra cash to enroll themselves into additional math classes. But if you really do the math, that’s like a dollar and then some.
24) Might be something else
If you ask the management a question like this, chances are, they won’t be hiring you. But it’s not because of your age, though.
25) You meant “math”, right?
Judging by their math, this person might be doing a different kind of “math” to arrive at this conclusion. Just to remind everyone, we’re still at 2021.
26) Greatest math, big math, never been before math
What’s 1/100th? And how can you half the cases if you half the tests? So much big, great, math here that no other nation has achieved.
27) Quarter of a what?
What quarter of something could get you $9,125 if you save it for a year? Because we’re pretty sure is not a quarter of a dollar.
28) Where are they getting these?
Again, just to remind people, we are in 2021. 21 years after 2000. So how can one be 36 in just 21 years? Let that sink in.
29) Not how discounts work
We’re not sure if we’re missing something here, but that doesn’t like a 50% off to us. Does $2 look like half of $24.99 to you?
30) How do you even score this deal?
Find three friends. Get 3 packs of bread each for a total of 12. Pay $15 then split the bread profit. The whole scheme doesn’t make any sense but you got to do what you have to do to score the discount!
31) That ain’t free
For something that’s “free”, that sure costs ten bucks more than regular. We don’t know about you, but that ain’t free.
32) Math is not a matter of opinion
The beautiful thing about math is its absoluteness. You can’t just go and say “Well, I’m not sure if I agree that there are 1,000 grams in a kilogram, but okay, buddy.”
33) “It’s simple addition”
Following this logic, if 70% of men and 65% of women don’t wash their hands, then that’s 135% of people? We don’t know about you but that sounds a lot more people than usual to us.
34) Thanos was right
If this is a serious question, then that would be 190 divided by 2, which is 95. Did this guy’s brain turn into dust when Thanos snapped his fingers?
35) Proportionate response
It’s funny to think that this guy had to draw this so they can visualize the proportions and still get it all messed up. It’s literally right in front of you!
36) Harder one next time, please!
Can someone get this man a harder set of math problems? I think he’s trying to see how many he can get wrong in one minute.
37) Valentine’s Day Nasty
Pregnancy is around 9 months, buddy. So we hate to break it to you but you just made math and biology some dirty.
38) Perfect scam
It’s astonishing to think that people like these even have debit cards in the first place. The only scam you’re pulling is to yourself.
39) Just 96 million more!
According the Reddit comments, this is actually a reference to her statement that one billion is a hundred times of one million — which is still bad math.
40) It’s really the pie charts
They missed it even with the pie proportions right in front of them. So, like, how do we even say this? “178% of Americans”? Is there even such a thing as 178% of a population?