There are two main camps when it comes to birthday cards: mushy and sentimental, or funny as heck!
Being lovey-dovey isn’t always appropriate, especially if you’re giving the card to a co-worker you barely know, but there’s no one on the planet that doesn’t love a good laugh!
If grinning and giggling are totally up your alley, then you’ll love this list of 31 funny birthday cards that people have actually received.
Who knows, you might even be inspired to go out and find a hilarious “just because” card to brighten someone’s day!
1) Awkwardly Funny Moms
Which means she’s allowed to be awkwardly funny when talking about sex, money, power and respect!
“Four things you’re probably not getting on your birthday.”
2) Dad Thinks He’s Funny Too
“My dad said he couldn’t find a funny birthday card, so he got me one of the dividers.”
3) Low Man On The Totem Pole
“4 out of 5 people get money in their birthday cards. Happy birthday, #5.”
4) Digging This Jurassic Humor
“Is this available in a 3X tshirt?.. I’m only 2X but prepping for the 3x times to come…”
5) It’s Plainly Written In Black And White
This would be one of those things.
“I have something for you. You’re holding it.”
6) The Piñata Doesn’t Sugarcoat It
“The sick part is, I kind of like it when they hit me.”
7) She Got Exactly What She Asked For
“I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.”
“Your eyesight’s damn near perfect.”
8) If Donuts Could Talk…
“Move over creampuff.”
There’s nothing cruller than being boxed like this!”
“What’s with the glazed look on her?
“Don’t mind him, he’s Danish.”
“Hey, when do I get a coffee break?
“Shut yer hole!”
“Coffee goes right through me!”
“You want a piece of me?
9) Luke, Use The Fourth You Must…
“What do you mean? I’m using the fourth, just like you keep saying!”
10) Oh No They Didn’t!
This guy’s parents told him exactly how it happened.
“Insert here. That’s what she said…”
<3 mom & dad
11) Be Careful What You Wish For
“I wish I weren’t an old man…”
12) Straight To The Point
“My dad turned 53 at the weekend. This is the card my sister sent him.”
“In dog years… you’re dead.”
13) When The Truth Comes Out
“Somebody mentioned that this is the anniversary of when you popped out of a vagina or something.”
14) Birthday’s Are A Cheat Day!
“It’s my birthday and I’ll have carbs if I want to!”
15) When Your Niece Can’t Read
“My 4 year old niece can’t read and bought me this birthday card because it featured ‘a cute dog with a party hat.'”
Hmm… I wonder…
16) Then This Happened
It could be viewed either way.
17) Numbers Don’t Lie
“You’re one of 19,000,000 people born on this day. You are not special.”
Back at you, kiddo!
18) Really, Dad?
19) He’s A Good Cousin
“A birthday card I made for my cousin. I am a good cousin.”
Looks like the joke is on the birthday cousin.
20) “Today Is Your Birthday”
“Your sister’s boyfriend got you a birthday card? That’s like 1000% more effort than I would have gone through.”
21) You’re Never Too Old
Reddit users agree:
“I remember being broke…in college, and then a card from Grandma would arrive with $5 in it and it was the best day ever… In a few more years, I’ll be Grandma aged. I should find some kids to send $5 to.”
22) Best Siblings Ever
23) When Your Family Is Off Their Rocker
“My family thinks it’s funny to send me creepy birthday cards. This was this years winner!”
24) Grandpa Style
So he penned one himself:
“Nate, I looked for a card, could not find any that I could stand. They must all be written by women or Twinkies. Happy Birthday, Love Grandpa.”
25) Mom Is Ready To Celebrate
“Happy birthday! How old are you now? When can I have my grandchild? I am old enough to be a grandmother. I am ready.”
26) Where’s The Punchline?
“birthday card from grandma…not sure if funny or wtf…”
Maybe that is the punchline.
“I opened the card for the punch line…it just says life is short happy birthday.”
27) Uncle Joker
“Maggie! Ha Ha Ha! You can’t read this ’cause you’re just 2 years old! Oh, it’s in Spanish? I can’t read it either. Hope it says Happy Birthday!”
28) With Love, From Charlotte’s Web
“So when a spider does it it’s cute, but when i give people card with my bumstuff it’s ‘Indecent’ and i have to ‘get back to the asylum.'”
29) Please Disregard Stephanie
“I like corn on the cob.”
30) When You Share A Birthday With Hitler
“My wife shares a birthday with Hitler so I made her this card.”
31) No Point In Opening It…
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